Sleeping In

This past Wednesday, I had plans to meet with a friend, Matei, at 6:30 am for breakfast. We have been meeting together all summer, mostly on Tuesdays, but rescheduled this week for Wednesday. Late Tuesday night I realized that my cell phone was pretty much out of battery and wouldn't make it till the morning, so I connected it to my laptop and went to bed.

The problem is that my cell phone is my alarm clock also. I decided to set my watch alarm and prayed this prayer:

"Father, please wake me up so I can make it to my meeting at 6:30. I am trusting you to get me up on time. I pray that I won't be late."

As I my head hit the pillow, I was pretty much already asleep. I woke up to my girls getting breakfast and Dani asking me if I meant to sleep in. It was 7:25! I frantically jumped up, ran upstairs to get my phone, and saw that Matei sent me a text around 6:45 asking if I had slept in.

I sent him a text back to see if he was still there, found out he was, and headed up to meet him. I couldn't believe I had slept in. I was very disappointed in myself and my mind began to have these thoughts:

"God, it's not like I was asking for a big thing. I know you can wake me up, what's the deal? Why would you let this happen? These breakfasts with Matei are important to me, I can't believe you didn't wake me up!"

When I got to breakfast, Matei told me it was no big deal and that he used the hour to read more of Grace Walk by Steve McVey and finished up Romans. He began to tell me some of the things he felt God showing him through his reading, which he blogged about here. I was encouraged by my friend. However, I spent the rest of the day wrestling with how to handle the let down of God not waking me up by 6:30.

I write of this event because it has turned out to be a critical moment for me as God has revealed something transforming for my life. Even though He didn't "show up" when I asked Him to, Wednesday morning turned out EXACTLY how it needed to. Matei and I aren't just getting together for breakfast every week, we're getting together and praying that God reveals more of Himself to us as we do. This past week, God just wanted to do that during the time we weren't together.

I was so focused on my schedule, I didn't even realize that God was doing something much cooler on His schedule and allowing me to see it. Being on time wasn't the issue, the issue continues to be me trusting God to do what's best.

This theme continues to be central in my thoughts as we still haven't received enough support to get paid this month. I was trusting, but trusting with the expectation that He would provide by the first what we needed to get through August.

As August 1st came and went, my soul is actually at peace knowing that He is all we need and He will ONLY do what is best for us. During this time, I'm experiencing His life, joy, peace, and rest as only His life can be, even though our circumstances haven't changed any. The money isn't the issue any more, the issue for me is whether or not I'm going to trust Him in each moment. As I've chosen Him, I've experienced the abundant life and I wouldn't trade that for more financial gain as His life is so sweet.

I know He will provide, as He's done so faithfully for so long. This time, He has something more for me to see than receiving that financial provision by the 1st. I'll keep you posted as I continue to learn. I'm so thankful for my sweet wifey who is a true partner on this journey.

Grace and Peace.