Continued Provision

Yesterday, my family and I flew from Texas to Oregon. It was a long day as we drove 2 1/2 hours to get to the airport and then had a 4 hour flight. By the time we landed, we were exhausted.

It was tough leaving home not really knowing where the funds would come from for us to get paid. The ministry is pretty much out of money and the things I have lined up while I'm in Oregon aren't things I get "paid" for. This whole experience has proven to be very taxing on us. I realized yesterday how much I've spiraled into my flesh. I had pretty much disengaged emotionally from Dani and struggled with what to do for our family.

At some point on the plane, I looked over at Dani and was overwhelmed with the reality of my current state. I had turned back to the yoke of slavery instead of resting in His life and freedom. As each moment passed without seeing His provision for my family, I turned more and more to my flesh. I'm so thankful that God revealed all of this to me. I hate how quickly I turn back to the flesh. I also HATE how I treat my family, especially Dani, when I'm not depending on Christ.

As we headed home, with a little time to talk, we mostly just had questions of what we were going to do. I honestly don't know what we'll do next month, or even the rest of this month. All I know is that, regardless of any situation, we're invited to depend on Jesus, who is completely trustworthy and good.

We were surprised to recieve a check, along with a few other checks we received right before we left Texas! It is enough to cover our paychecks for August 1st, and mostly for the 15th as well.

Through this situation, I've seen once again how circumstantial I can be. I am comforted by Christ and His provision, as well as the reality that He is doing exactly what we need at this moment. I also see that it took me getting to the absolute end of myself to see that He's really all I have. I hit bottom yesterday, and He revealed Himself through provision again. I tried coping with the situation, just hoping He would come through quickly. When that didn't happen, I didn't know what to do because coping wasn't a real option, that always leads to misery for me.

Christ always leads to fullness, peace, rest, joy, love, and life. My prayer is that I don't keep turning back to my flesh nor do I focus on my circumstances, instead always fixing my eyes on Jesus and depending fully on Him in each moment.